Parenting a toddler is a wild ride—one that John Mulaney just compared to working for *The Ellen DeGeneres Show*. And honestly? He’s not wrong.
During a recent stand-up set, Mulaney joked that raising his 3-year-old son, Malcolm, is eerily similar to the reported behind-the-scenes chaos of Ellen’s show. His punchline? *“If he stops dancing, you f–king stop dancing.”*
For anyone who’s spent time with a toddler, the comparison is spot-on. Toddlers are tiny, unpredictable bosses who demand constant attention—and if they’re not happy, *nobody* is happy. One minute, they’re laughing; the next, they’re throwing a tantrum because their banana broke in half. Sound familiar?
Mulaney’s joke also cleverly nods to the infamous reports about Ellen’s workplace, where employees allegedly had to match her energy at all times—or else. Swap Ellen for a three-year-old, and suddenly, it all makes sense.
At its core, Mulaney’s bit is more than just a funny observation—it’s a reminder that parenting is equal parts exhausting and absurd. Whether you’re dodging meltdowns or pretending to love the same song for the 100th time, toddlers rule the show. And like any good employee (or parent), you just have to go with it.
So here’s to all the parents out there—may your dance moves stay sharp, and your coffee stay strong. Because if the boss (a.k.a. your kid) says jump, you’d better ask, *“How high?”* on the way up.
